My face is such a fail in this, but here is me today with Mindy, the beautiful boa constrictor that decided she was going to be both my necklace and my headdress!

Dem reptiles love to spoil me. :3

I have many unrelated things to relate to one another.

Yesterday I had to run home from Dan’s and then back to the Job Centre (which is right near his house) because I’d forgotten my fucking booklet thing. I thought I was going to be late but I wasn’t so that’s cool. The guy I spoke to made a joke about forgetting what day it is, something we’ve all done. Then he said “Most mornings I woke up and I can’t even remember my name… but then I remember it’s not important anyway.”
He meant it all in jest, but it really made me think about how realistically, our names really… don’t matter. Like, at all. They are a label and a means of identifying an individual but when it comes down to it, that’s really all they are.

How peculiar and sad.

Next, my house smells of Victoria sponge cake because my house mate who studies Marketing and Advertising is making her self promotion video for the end of year show. It’s about baking and the patience involved with getting it perfect - after getting egg shell in the mixture, or burning it, or forgetting the sugar, or making it so it caves in the middle, and so on and so forth.
It’s a really cool idea and she’s made the kitchen artistically messy, with flour and eggs on the floor and stuff.
I’m really fucking hungry and haven’t eaten all day, so as cool as that all is, oh my god I just want to get some food =[.

That brings me nicely to my main thoughts of today.
Last night, or evening, I went to the Brewer to meet with a few friends. Had a few pints, got some pizza, went back to the Brewer because my mate was fucked on about 5 vodka and cokes o_o. Saw my friends Adam and Toma, and hung out with them for ages just talking about shit, when my house mate Lou appeared with her boyfriend, Lloyd. I was like “Oh, cool! Hi!” and we sat talking for ages, when she finally decided to tell me that she’d invited Callum. I was like eh, to be honest, this will do us both good. I’ll try making small talk, just to see how things are.
The fucker outright ignored me, downed his drink as soon as he sat down, got up and went back to the bar. So, rather upset and insulted, I went back outside. I cried a little bit seeing him again, I won’t lie about that. Adam and Toma comforted me for a while but then I was just like eh, I’m leaving. So I went to Spoons to ask one of my friends behind the bar if anyone had been about, which they had, so I went to L4 to meet them, and then on to Sugar Cubes… I was absolutely and entirely fucked. All night. Leanne got the two of us into the strip club for shits and giggles, and all I can remember about it is that one of the bouncers knows her dad, so he bought us a shot each, and there was this really, really fat chick on the pole. It was awful.
Funny, nonetheless! Then back to Cubes, drank even more, danced like a twat I expect, and then got walked home by another friend who bought me chips from Poppins to eat. I was useless at the walking part, and to link this post together nice and smoothly, you might say that I was so drunk I’d forgotten my own name.

I got home, and because I didn’t say anything to Lou before leaving she assumed I’d gone to Dan’s… Which I suppose is a fair enough assumption to make.
I had originally invited Ben in for some tea, but I got in, and lo! In my living room there’s a Lou, a Lloyd, and… oh! A Callum!
I told Ben he had to leave immediately because as soon as I saw him I flew into a blind rage and went upstairs, blasted music out (at 3am, before telling Sarah who is in the room below me that I didn’t give a shit that it had woken her up - I regret this, of course, and feel awful about that), rolled a cigarette, stormed downstairs and went out for a smoke, slamming the door behind me.
Callum abruptly left, and Lou came outside because she knew what was wrong, so she just let me shout at her for ages. I cried my fucking eyes out and I guess I don’t even really know why, I can’t remember the last time I was that filled with absolute and utter rage.
I guess it could have been the whole behind-the-back nature of it, or that Callum only came to our house twice during the entire six months I lived here that we were together, though obviously it’s more likely to be that “one does not simply get over a three year relationship”. Whatever it was, I felt a lot about it and had a lot of pent up frustration to let out, it seems.

I probably overreacted, but because of just quite how drunk I was (I don’t even think I can call it ‘drunk’… It’s like, there’s drunk, and then there was what I was), everything just seemed so much worse.

I paid for all the crying, shouting, and general drunkenness this morning, though.

I ended up with my head in the toilet for like an hour, lol, and I only properly got out of bed about half an hour ago. I still feel ropey as fuck which is why I need food. But alas, I cannot have food yet.

This has been a very long, very pointless update.

I made my eyes look rly big :3

Starting the day with Carach Angren’s ‘Lammendam’.

I’ve a few things to do today, mostly tidying… I need to stop letting my bedroom get into such a state, it’s far too small to be comfortable when there’s stuff everywhere.

Hopefully it won’t fuck my back up again - yesterday all I did was hoover downstairs and the upstairs hallway but the fucking thing put out and I was in agony T_T.

I’ll probably shower then. I’ve been thinking of ideas for pictures lately, too, since I keep saying I might take some but never do - mostly because I never feel inspired or pretty enough. However, I like my ideas so I’ll give them a go.

A visual indulgence for all!

…Or so I hope. Hah.

I am absolutely furious.

How dare you say that to me? Or anyone, in fact?
What is it that you see in yourself that gives you the right to say such things to people who are obviously struggling, no matter what it is about?

I was feeling relatively stressed anyway about things I’m finding difficult to talk about, but fucking hell.

I’m now feeling completely vehement and would happily punch a hole through something with rage.

The fact that I’m this angry about it is ridiculous to be honest.

But UGH.

Me being a dick with my camera that hates taking pictures without flash, before and after dreadlocks.

Oh Lord.

So in June I’m attending a Game of Thrones themed bonfire party.

I’ve decided to shotgun Daenerys Targaryen because she’s by far my favourite character.

Thankfully I have until June to work out how exactly I’m going to do this…

I think I am going to have to find a very, very cheap, very, very blonde wig so I can just plait it all messy and pretend I’m blonde for the night >_>

Sewing/customisation projects:

• Fix my house mate’s work trousers
• Sew a button back onto a different house mate’s jeans
• Fix the button hole on a pair of my own jeans
• Take in my Dimmu Borgir strap top
• Take in my Way of Purity t-shirt
• Customise and take in my Sisters of Mercy t-shirt
• Turn my Behemoth t-shirt into a long, fitted vest top
• Attach spiked studs across the top of one of my bras
• Make a floor length skirt out of the green imitation velvet I have
• Take in my PVC skirt
• Make a short skirt out of leftover black imitation velvet
• Probably more things

This list is mostly here to remind me.
I’m going to busy these next few weeks…