Seriously I don’t think a lot of people realise how badly it can affect you. When I feel like this I actually feel like crying and breaking things, and screaming and essentially breaking myself and surroundings because I feel like a caged bird with clipped wings.
There’s a lot of sympathy (all of which I support) for introverts on Tumblr. But some of us are extroverts whose only frequent human contact is at work, and it’s been so long since we have been able to go out with friends on a regular basis that we have forced ourselves into an introvert’s bubble, creating some maddened hybrid that has forgotten how to adequetely relax and socialise yet still remain fully aware of how much we want to, and sometimes need to.
When you can’t see a way out of that situation it can deal some serious mental damage :(
I often feel as though I am tangled between two plains of existence.
And here is my hair hehe. These extensions were so cheap so they won’t last long but holy shit they’re so awesome. Shame I have to plait them if I wear them out because they’re still a little too obvious in my real hair ^^’
My skin is so bad lately but here is my face.
I had a dream last night about a beautiful park with stone and grass and something very ordinary about it in its beauty.
I walked through it and remembered I had an apartment overlooking it, in a similarly ordinary-but-beautiful-in-a-way-I-can’t-put-my-finger-on way.
Then I was at a carnival, and there were restaurants suspended in half-buildings, and it was as though the greenery of the earth were battling to swallow us all whole, but very quietly and peacefully, effectively but so slowly no one would notice.
There was a shop - a dress shop. Thick lace, and brocade and velvet and satin, cotton underskirts and crinolines, I’m amazed at the patterns and designs my brain was creating - it’s been a long time since I’ve just dreamt up fantastical designs - and I could afford any one of them, but every time I thought I’d found the perfect dress, there was something about it that made my heart sink.
And it was like time was running out, like this was a perfect opportunity and I needed such a fanciful dress for.. something? It felt like I was nervous about an event.
I woke up while I dreamt of running my hand across skirts of all sorts of textures materials. It was weird.
Trust me to dream about such vanity.
Emma is being a marshmallow.
Stay away from my goth fortress.
The Tumblr flash thing made my face/make-up look really dodgy but it also makes me look white as a sheet, so I’ll make do.
Just a closer view of my face and make-up lol. The eyeshadow is actually a really dark, almost black, metallic colour… it looks grey here though ;_;
Still making black lipstick look good.
So, an update about a few things.
I went up to 8 stone and I’m really disappointed in myself for being upset about that.
This morning I got this really strong urge to start skateboarding again.
My eyeliner is waterproof and really difficult to get off with a face wipe but as soon as I slightly rub it accidentally it comes off.
My boyfriend is the most beautiful, amazing thing.
I saw my best friend today and it was awesome.
Turns out I’m not the only member of my shop team with a mental illness.
I had some wine left over so I drank it.
My father never responded to my e-mail.
My Graze box came today and I got delicious treats.
I’m going to bed now. Lol. Maybe.
I’m still unbelievably smitten. Yep.
Not sure whether or not to participate in Halloween this year or just dress up a bit more extravagant than usual.
Any ideas as to what I could do?
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